“It’s never natural to part from anyone, no matter who.” — Marguerite Duras, The Sailor from Gibraltar
The end always comes. Sometimes sooner than you expected. And it is always hard to part from someone, no matter who. There is a special kind of hurt, touched with sweetness, that you feel just when you’re starting to love someone and you know you can’t stay together. It’s the kind of wound you can’t dress or staunch. The best thing for it is to open your windows and lie in bed in the early afternoon.
I am, apparently, bad at blogging.
Tomorrow is the first day of April. After a presentation at 9 tomorrow morning, I am officially on spring break. In a week, I will be in Berlin, and then in Prague, and then in Vienna, and then in Budapest. My semester abroad is beginning to get stressful – I’m running out of money and running out of time to devote to several enormous research projects. I was ambitious with my research proposals and I am certain that I can do my topics justice if I can just get my shit together.
Tomorrow marks six months since the life changes I so cryptically referred to in my first post on this blog. It’s sobering to think about how much has changed in six months. I didn’t think I would make it to this point, and yet here I am.
I am rather belatedly continuing this blog for simple reasons – I need a change of format, I need to discover a new blogging community, I need a blog that my friends don’t read so I can discuss my life more candidly.
I don’t currently have any pressing thoughts to blog. I was just informed, via text message and then via Twitter, that a friend from high school is in deep, deep trouble with the law. I’m shocked and sleepy and sobered at the memory of October of 2009, the anniversary of my new life. I don’t mean to be cryptic – I never expected to be here, in Brussels, leading a joyful life. I never thought I could recover from the blow I received when I lost what I expected to be a long-term partner under such painful circumstances. But it’s possible to get used to anything, and embracing something comes right after accepting it. I’ve embraced my new life without you in it, and so, ex-boyfriend, I will address you for the first time in six months – good riddance.
Posted in Personal
Tagged moving on